Dealing with Doubt - Part 3

This is the third and final installment from Michael Patton's post on helping those who struggle with doubt. It was originally posted at the Gospel Coalition blog.

6. Realize there is no timetable.

Each person is unique. Just like with depression, the length of this faith crisis has no timetable. For some people, due to personality and life circumstances, their crisis will last a very long time. The more contemplative (and compulsive) might suffer with this intermittently for their entire lives. I know that it is a long time to teeter on the edge of unbelief, but this is sometimes God's method.

Who knows how long Job endured his faith-defining crisis, but one thing is for sure: it was not over quickly. So be patient. Join with the doubting in prayer for as long as it takes. Be kind, knowing that such problems are not uncommon to man.

7. Help people work through their sin.

I intentionally saved this one for last. Often this is the first place Christians go with a loved one in crisis. I think it helps us to mentally put doubt into a discernible box. It also helps us to find a quick solution. "Oh, you are doubting your faith. Okay, then quit sinning. Next!" Sometimes the problem is this easy. Personal sin is a faith drainer. Before long disobedience to God takes a significant toll on our faith.

However, keep in mind that we're all sinners, and sin is usually deliberate. Therefore, we are all in deliberate sin. But God deals with us in different ways. Some sins, in order to stay in them, take a toll on our mind and worldview as we attempt to justify them. For example, a Christian living in homosexuality is one thing. This is a definite sin and will take its toll in many ways. But a Christian living in homosexuality and trying to justify this biblically another thing. The toll here is not only moral, social, and physical, but it also corrupts the mind. The mental task of trying to re-interpret the Bible will not remain isolated to this incident. Sooner or later, the mental paradigm that you set up to make your sin viable will corrupt everything else.

In short, if there is something that we know we are supposed to be doing, and we are not doing it, doubt will soon spread, and the crisis of faith will be hard to overcome. We need to gently ask these type of questions when the time is right. Simply accusing people of some deep-rooted personal sin right from the gun can be judgmental and embarrassing. Ask if there is any sin that might be causing this. If they say no, and you cannot identify anything that is sure to be the cause, then don't push this issue.

Assume the Best

Though a Calvinist, I am not interested in the question, "Was this person ever really saved to begin with?" It is an important theological question but does not have any practical relevance when dealing with the doubting. I treat those who confess the faith as believers and work from there. I also treat this as if this person can truly lose his or her faith. After all, there is a faith that does not save, and we need to hold this out as a real option. We may eventually find out that this person was not a believer, but we should cross that bridge when it becomes evident to all parties.

I am a perpetual doubter learning to live with it. I don't rejoice in my doubt and don't wish it upon anyone else. However, I have come to realize that it almost always makes my faith stronger in the end, so long as I am not apathetic. This perspective can help us deal with others in their doubts.

Dealing with Doubt - Part 2

This is a continuation of Friday's post on Doubt, written by Michael Patton, originally posted at the Gospel Coalition blog.


4. Help them to focus on the things that make or break their faith.

It could be something as small as someone at school ridiculing them for believing that a donkey talked, discovering an apparent discrepancy in what Christ said in Matthew compared to Mark, or hearing a science class presentation on the theory of evolution. However, for those who have never been prepared for this crisis, they cannot discriminate between essentials and non-essentials. For many, everything is essential. Their theology is a house of cards. Once one card falls, no matter how small, the entire house comes tumbling down.

We can do much to lessen the effects of this crisis if we can help those going through it gain some perspective. Someone may be questioning the legitimacy of his belief in the rapture, whether to include the Apocrypha in the canon, whether hell is eternal, whether God changes his mind, whether Christ can work through other religions, or the inerrancy of Scripture. Whether the crisis of faith is brought about due to intellectual or emotional reasons, start by encouraging doubters to consider core issues of the faith and then move out from there. I think the primary core issue of the Christian faith is the resurrection of Christ. All dominoes fall from there. It is also the easiest to rest our intellectual head on. I have yet to meet someone who was going through a prolonged crisis of faith who was well established in the historicity of Christ's resurrection.

5. Encourage them to live according to the faith they still have.

Doubt is not unbelief. Doubt is the bridge that connects our current faith to perfect faith. That bridge will stand until death or Christ returns. However, those who are going through a faith crisis don't naturally see things this way. Once doubt come in and infects their life on a conscious level, they interpret it as outright unbelief. They don't know how else to process it. They think that they are on an inevitable road to complete unbelief.

Unfortunately, because they think this way and many Christians treat them as if they had a plague, they begin to immediately live as unbelievers. If sin were not the instigating problem before, it definitely becomes the chronic problem now. It is important for those who are struggling with doubt to not let their doubt influence their lives so that they start living as if they are unbelievers. Encourage doubters to continue to live as Christians, even if they don't feel like one anymore.

HTW: The Gospel Coalition

Dealing with Doubt - Part 1

by Michael Patton

I deal with many people doubting their faith. To be more specific, these are Christians going through some sort of faith crisis where they no longer believe with the simplicity that once characterized their belief. This is becoming more common in a world where sheltered or isolated beliefs are impractical and antiquated. However, most of us really don't know how to deal with doubt. We don't know how to deal with it when it comes to our own doubts, much less other people's.Nevertheless, here is some general counsel for those seeking to help loved ones through this crisis in a positive way.

1. Have mercy on them.

Jude 22 is quite neglected. It says for us to "have mercy on some who are doubting." If we don't approach people with genuine mercy and love, we cannot expect to be Christ for them in what might very well be the biggest struggle that they have ever been through. This time is truly traumatic for the doubting. If you have never been through it, you will have an extremely hard time understanding. In fact, we default to judge and condemn those who are doubting. When they endure such treatment from the community of faith, it intensifies and prolongs the problem. You would not believe how many Christians who are going through this crisis and seriously considering suicide. From their perspective, their entire worldview is collapsing beneath them.
I won't get too much into the story, but I have been through this crisis at the deepest level. It nearly killed me. Simply to have someone there having mercy on me, not waiting for the other shoe to drop, but fully supporting me in love, was so important. Those in doubt need to know that you are not ever going to leave or forsake them. That is being Christ to them (Heb. 13:5). Be as understanding as you can even if you have not been through this.

2. Realize that these are often the birth pangs of deepened faith.

I almost put "these are the birth pangs of true faith," but that is saying too much. You see, when we are children, we receive faith from our parents in a mediated way. This does not mean that this faith is false. But, for the most part, it is untested. Trials, temptations, and the suffering of life tests our faith (Job; Rom. 5:3-4; Luke 8:5-15; Jam. 1:3).
For those of us with children who are going through this, we cannot panic . . . please don't panic. Yes, it is incredibly difficult to watch your child (or friends or other loved ones) go through this. Just like when your child is hurt, you want so much to vicariously take their pain. When our children are going through this faith crisis, we also want God to shift the burden to our shoulders. We can bear this burden with them, but we cannot (and should not want to) bear this burden for them. Our faith must be tested if it is to grow. Periodic faith struggles are the norm of the Christian life. When I am at my best, I worry most for those who have never been through any faith crisis. To me, this normally means that they don't take their faith too seriously. But for those who do take their faith seriously, the crisis is sure to come.

3. Be ready but don't manufacture answers.

The last thing the doubting need are cliché answers. In fact, these will almost always make the crisis worse. People normally go through these trials because they are thinking deeply about their faith. They are critically examining it, possibly for the first time. Sound-bite answers only reinforce a naive picture of the faith. People in the crisis have a new ability to tell if you are being fake, even when you don't know it yourself. Be ready. Be honest about your faith. Enter into the crisis with them and find answers together.

I remember when my mother had a ruptured brain aneurysm at age 56. This came just on the heels of my sister's death. We were all at the hospital groping for hope and wondering why God was attacking us (as we saw it) in such a way. My little sister was in the deepest crisis of us all. When my cousin came in to offer spiritual support, he said, "While the pain you are going through is bad, you have to remember that God lost his own son." My sister would have none of it. She responded without hesitation, "Yeah, but at least he got his son back after three days." Now, my cousin could have stuck to his guns and continued to promote the validity of his wisdom. He did not. He joined with my sister and said, "By God, I never thought of that." He then remained silent. That meant a lot. It meant that he was not just trying to offer advice that he had never thought through himself, but that he was willing to shoulder the burden that unexpected difficulties bring to our faith.

HTW: The Gospel Coalition

Know a Christian Who Seems to Love Movies More Than Jesus?

by John Piper from his blog at Desiring God

"What should you do if you know someone who seems to be more excited about movies than Jesus?

Many professing Christians give little evidence of valuing Jesus more than the latest movie they have seen. Or the latest clothing they bought. Or the latest app they downloaded. Or the latest game they watched. Something is amiss.

We are not God and cannot judge with certainty and precision what’s wrong. There is a glitch somewhere. Perhaps a blindness going in, a spiritual deadness at heart, or a blockage coming out. Or some combination. Christ doesn’t appear supremely valuable. Or isn’t felt as supremely valuable. Or can’t be spoken of as supremely valuable. Or some combination.

Here’s my suggestion. Instead of dampening their enthusiasm for movies, clothing, apps, and events, let that go as an expression of God-given personality. Instead, model expressive joy in Jesus. Over time, if there is no resonance from their heart with your joy, query them humbly:

I love your enthusiasm for the things you get excited about. You’re so free and expressive about good movies and nice clothes and cool apps. It seems odd to me that you don’t seem to be as expressive about the way you feel about Jesus and what he’s done for us. Have you thought about why that might be?

The point of this query is to help them see that the problem is not joyfully loving good created things. The problem is the apparent absence of similar affections for Christ.

If similar affections for Jesus are not possible, then the specter of idolatry becomes serious. But they may sense this themselves without your having to start with that indictment, if you draw their attention not to the excitement that’s there, but to what’s missing.

We don’t want them to lose their exuberance about anything good. We want Christ to be supreme in their hearts so that all their exuberance comes under him and for his sake. When Jesus is felt as supremely valuable in our hearts, all other values gradually become properly ordered and purified.

May the Lord give you great courage and wisdom as you help people awaken to the supreme value of Jesus."

At All Cost, Get This

From Tony Reinke's blog Miscellanies

…but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 5:20-21


Martyn Lloyd-Jones,Romans: Assurance (Banner of Truth, 1971), pages 299–300:

"What grace has done is not merely to counteract exactly what sin has done. If grace had done that, and that alone, it would still be something wonderful. If the effect of grace had merely been to wipe out, and to cancel, all that had happened on the other side, we should have had a theme for praising God sufficient to last us through all eternity. But, says the Apostle, it is not an exact counterbalance; what I have on the right side does not exactly tally with that I have on the left. In fact there is no comparison; it is a superfluity, an abounding, and engulfing, it is an overflowing on the side of grace. We must hold on to this truth at all costs and get it clear in our minds. The point is that grace does not merely exactly balance, it does not just undo what sin has done; it does much more."