Dealing with Doubt - Part 1

by Michael Patton

I deal with many people doubting their faith. To be more specific, these are Christians going through some sort of faith crisis where they no longer believe with the simplicity that once characterized their belief. This is becoming more common in a world where sheltered or isolated beliefs are impractical and antiquated. However, most of us really don't know how to deal with doubt. We don't know how to deal with it when it comes to our own doubts, much less other people's.Nevertheless, here is some general counsel for those seeking to help loved ones through this crisis in a positive way.

1. Have mercy on them.

Jude 22 is quite neglected. It says for us to "have mercy on some who are doubting." If we don't approach people with genuine mercy and love, we cannot expect to be Christ for them in what might very well be the biggest struggle that they have ever been through. This time is truly traumatic for the doubting. If you have never been through it, you will have an extremely hard time understanding. In fact, we default to judge and condemn those who are doubting. When they endure such treatment from the community of faith, it intensifies and prolongs the problem. You would not believe how many Christians who are going through this crisis and seriously considering suicide. From their perspective, their entire worldview is collapsing beneath them.
I won't get too much into the story, but I have been through this crisis at the deepest level. It nearly killed me. Simply to have someone there having mercy on me, not waiting for the other shoe to drop, but fully supporting me in love, was so important. Those in doubt need to know that you are not ever going to leave or forsake them. That is being Christ to them (Heb. 13:5). Be as understanding as you can even if you have not been through this.

2. Realize that these are often the birth pangs of deepened faith.

I almost put "these are the birth pangs of true faith," but that is saying too much. You see, when we are children, we receive faith from our parents in a mediated way. This does not mean that this faith is false. But, for the most part, it is untested. Trials, temptations, and the suffering of life tests our faith (Job; Rom. 5:3-4; Luke 8:5-15; Jam. 1:3).
For those of us with children who are going through this, we cannot panic . . . please don't panic. Yes, it is incredibly difficult to watch your child (or friends or other loved ones) go through this. Just like when your child is hurt, you want so much to vicariously take their pain. When our children are going through this faith crisis, we also want God to shift the burden to our shoulders. We can bear this burden with them, but we cannot (and should not want to) bear this burden for them. Our faith must be tested if it is to grow. Periodic faith struggles are the norm of the Christian life. When I am at my best, I worry most for those who have never been through any faith crisis. To me, this normally means that they don't take their faith too seriously. But for those who do take their faith seriously, the crisis is sure to come.

3. Be ready but don't manufacture answers.

The last thing the doubting need are cliché answers. In fact, these will almost always make the crisis worse. People normally go through these trials because they are thinking deeply about their faith. They are critically examining it, possibly for the first time. Sound-bite answers only reinforce a naive picture of the faith. People in the crisis have a new ability to tell if you are being fake, even when you don't know it yourself. Be ready. Be honest about your faith. Enter into the crisis with them and find answers together.

I remember when my mother had a ruptured brain aneurysm at age 56. This came just on the heels of my sister's death. We were all at the hospital groping for hope and wondering why God was attacking us (as we saw it) in such a way. My little sister was in the deepest crisis of us all. When my cousin came in to offer spiritual support, he said, "While the pain you are going through is bad, you have to remember that God lost his own son." My sister would have none of it. She responded without hesitation, "Yeah, but at least he got his son back after three days." Now, my cousin could have stuck to his guns and continued to promote the validity of his wisdom. He did not. He joined with my sister and said, "By God, I never thought of that." He then remained silent. That meant a lot. It meant that he was not just trying to offer advice that he had never thought through himself, but that he was willing to shoulder the burden that unexpected difficulties bring to our faith.

HTW: The Gospel Coalition